Creepy campfire shot of my bestie and her boyfriend
I don’t know where to start this post but on Tuesday afternoon I quit my job. Because of confidentiality I can’t say too much but my decision to throw in the towel so to speak was a long time coming. After a short discussion with my boss we decided to have it active immediately which has put my mind at ease. When things stop making you happy and it’s effecting your mental and physical health it’s just easier to let it go. When I get really stressed my body reacts negatively and I didn’t want to get to the point where I was suffering from physical ailments to pay the rent. My main goal this year was to work on my mind, body and soul and I feel like I’m doing the right thing by going. I’ve had depression for a long time and anyone else in my shoes would understand that when you get to a happy stage you hold on to it with your dear life and do everything to maintain it. Right now, I’m starting the grand adventure of finding out what I really want to do and while I’m nervous I’m also beyond excited!
Little things: going camping in the wilderness!; going out on the lake in a boat and feeling the wind in my hair; doing a photography course with my dad; catching up with the kids; being inside while it’s pouring down outside; rice and quinoa mix by sun rice; strange adventures with strange people; my best friend and dad who are incredibly supportive; little bird raw macaroons; coconut cream based ice cream; getting back into Atmosphere then finding out they have a new album out shortly!; Are you the one?; working out like a bawss and that feeling of being so very proud of yourself.
Post work out selfie earned!
The past three weeks have been mental. First off, I got a throat infection during the busiest transitional time at work which lead me to work over time to catch up. After that was just a series of ‘AND THEN ________ HAPPENED’ i.e Richard dying, my bestie being in a car accident and work just being absolutely mental. It has been hard to find any form of beauty in the chaos because my life for the past three weeks has been a caffeinated dream where I’ve just been floating through making sure I am awake and not sleeping through my alarm. In saying that, there has been some really awesome times and I made sure that at the end of this all that I would have a bunch of fun things to do. This weekend my dad and I are going to go and do a beginners photography course through ‘Three Little Wishes’ and then after that I’m going camping in the Wairarapa which will be a much needed escape. One of the things that got me through the worst parts of depression was having things to look forward to and it’s definitely a habit I have carried on.
Little things: family time; phone convo’s with my bestie, ugly face off’s via snap chat; lots and lots of coffee; having a fun team to work with; Are you the one?; Adventure Time; Danny Brown – XXX; soft, printed pants taking office casual to a whole new level; getting a good nights sleep; writing in my journal; escapism via game apps aka Candy Crush; brightly coloured lip stick; Bonnie Tsang’s instagram; the continued simplicity and consistency of NubbyTwiglet.com; wanderlust; productivity; Anonymous posts on Thought Catalog, Speak Now – Taylor Swift; getting back into Atmosphere; Girl Code; getting back into the gym and pushing myself to where I once was!
A few months ago I wrote a post about Richard the cat. The sweet little ginger tabby who hung around my neighbourhood that dad and I took in. Love had no boundaries when it came to Richard. He was super sweet and always looked so happy. As far as I know he was a stray who just liked hanging out with people. We fed him and played with him as he stopped by every morning and evening then occasionally through the day.
Last night my dad picked me up after a chaotic couple of weeks (more on that later). He said ‘I have some sad news. On Thursday night Richard the cat got hit by a car. The lady who bought him to the door said it was so quick and when she picked him up he purred a for a bit then passed away.’ I am so very saddened by this. Richard was a saving grace in the same way my cat, the late Alice, was. I will miss you dearly Richard and I hope you’re high on catnip in kitty heaven playing with every flax bush in site. You will be missed terribly.
Dad and I had Christmas the the Front Room in Waikanae last year and it was the best meal I’ve had out in a long time. Admittedly, I don’t dine out at very fancy places nor do I have three course meals but I couldn’t remember the last time I had a great meal like that. Since I am a total nerd….
I had squid, chorizo and cauliflower purée for my entree, duck breast on a pomegranate and farrow salad (not pictured coz I was SO excited to eat it) and an affogato for dessert
Mickey and I went out on a late night excursion and got these amazing rum cocktails. Unfortunately all the nice bars close at 2am and when we got to the bars we just wanted to get Chinese food and go home.
The night wouldn’t be complete without a mirror selfie though
I went for a walk and saw this group kayaking which needed a photo
Nice days call for walks out to the ugly Wellywood sign over the gym. It’s nice to wind down after a long day even if it kills me
My dad and his girlfriend showed me this cool boat a little while ago and they had a cat on board! That’s the only cool part. The boat is pretty worn down.
This was one of the coolest things I’ve seen at Oriental Bay! I’m not sure what type of martial arts they did but they waded in like it was nothing.
On the last leg of my wall they have cool wind and light sculptures. The colour blocks are cool but I like this one the best.
I’ll let this speak for itself haha!
Dog cuddles cure everything
I’ve been in a bit of a rut over the past few weeks. Summer is the time of the year that I feel the most blue which is weird coz….it’s Summer. All of the sucky things happen in summer in my world. After some fairly serious shite hitting the fan I was just so tired and depressed that after work I would sit and binge while watching a lot of sitcoms.
This week was a real turning point for me coz I was able to ease out of my rut after a long weekend away with my bestie. It was so nice to kick back, catch up on t.v and talk about things. We’re like an old married couple sometimes! I always appreciate and value her words coz she knows me as well as I know myself. That weekend away was like stepping outside of my rut filled box and being able to problem solve more efficiently. This week was a lot better and loads more productive. I’m still learning to master the art of escapism in Wellington but it’s a slow progression.
Little things: comedy tv marathons; dog sitting; working out super hard; having the kids back; hilarious flat banter; Shortland Street despite how terrible it is; kicking back in bed; Beauty and the Geek; The Bachelor AU; hot sunny days; green tea before bed; and having the apartment to myself!
Yknow what? It has been a tough mother of a week so I’m going to kick it old school. When things get tough I always look at what keeps me from crumbling and it’s my friends and family. I’m especiallylucky to have a best friend like mine. 16 years of falling in and out of friendship is tough but we stuck to it. I’m so fortunate to have someone who has my back, brings me constant amount of laughter and makes me feel like I’m never alone.
There are the little things too of course: catching up with some of my kids for late night BK; revamping my quote wall; Katy Perry – Prism; getting back into the gym; phone calls; hilarious dialogue on Californication; the Book Thief; being back home in the city; productive days; making plans to get out of the city more with my BFF; befriending stray cats that aren’t Richard and getting lots of sleep.
New years eve on our end was pretty fuss free! Aimee and I stayed in the city and I was determined for her to have a good New Years coz her past three had been less that awesome. We rocked up to my friend Jordana’s house and had a few drinks then boosted to town just before the countdown. I haven’t really been drinking very much so the hangover hit me pretty hard. I feel like the New Year will be a few drinks over dinner kind of year. If you had told me that my ‘Ugh! Never going out again!’ resolution was going to actually feel right in May I probably would’ve laughed and said ‘Yeah, sure it is…..’ I’m still sorting out my sleeping pattern after the 5am bed time….
I went back to work on Friday but kept staying at my dads up until today. I was clinging on to the last days of my holiday and commuting 45 minutes both ways so I could squeeze every last second out of my holiday and the chance to be out of the city. These past 3 weeks have been amazing. I haven’t had this much time off since I was in high school! When I read back I know that I need to take more time out before I burn out. Aimee and I were talking about goals before new year and I told her my 2014 theme was ‘Mind, Body and Soul’. A few days later I was talking to Michelle and hers was exactly the same! I spent a bit of time writing what it meant to me last night and I have a few projects that I want to follow through with and I have got a few trips mapped out in my head as well.
2013 was successful for me because I took a step back
and grew up. I saw how I was screwing up and did everything to change it. I feel like I have developed a really good relationship with myself and it sounds cheesy or whatever but after having a lot of time where things weren’t very good it’s nice to have time where things ARE good.
Little things: Richard the cat who I am contemplating catnapping….; getting a decent nights sleep; the Book Thief – Markus Zusak, working one day weeks; having my dads place to myself; baths!; (dare I say it…..) Candy Crush; the hangover phone call round; buying new shoes; giving my room an epic tidy up; Moroccan oil deep conditioner; healing my anxieties naturally; clean eating; and freshly painted toe nails!