As soon as the clock hit midnight on Monday in New Zealand it has been nothing but chaos! I haven’t worked in over a week and we got told that we can’t go back on the office tomorrow either. It’s pretty damn terrifying. I’ve felt kinda calm but at the same time I’ve been checking Stuff, Geonet and the weather every couple of hours. The aftershocks are pretty small here but more often then not it’s another bloody aftershock.They’ve talked about red zoning the CBD (which I agree on) because people are still being evacuated!!! Argh, it’s driving me pretty mental as you can tell. Wellington is a small city which is why I love it and if people need to be evacuated for the sake of 1) public safety and 2) preservation and fixing the damn building then so be it. /rant over.
We’ve had some pretty insane sunshine the past couple of days which is much needed especially after the very wet weather we had at the beginning of the week. I managed to get incredibly burnt on my chest which is a massive reminder to get back into applying suncream every hour or two (honestly, it doesn’t have much effect when the ozone layer is in the state that it’s in and you’re pale as all hell.
Little things: I took Brax for a long walk on Friday and it was the best!!! He still tries to cuddle me like he did when he was a baby; sunshine finally!; getting back into being active; meeting the sweetest baby angel French Bulldog named Bobby at the pub (her Instagram is mrsbobbalina); My Favourite Murder, Criminal, This American Life; the views from our place; still being able to fit into shorts (just!); 31 days till we go on holiday!; getting into Kathy Reich’s; Facetiming Mickey; late night sundaes (oops!!!); getting back into a normal routine at home; iced coffees and of course JP.
Let me start off by saying that I’ve gone backwards. Oops! I knew that I had and for the past nearly two weeks my gym work outs have been regular and I am in love with the gym again. As you may or may not have seen on the news, we’ve had a pretty insane time here in Wellington. The massive quake that hit us on Monday morning (7.5 on the Richter scale and went for a minute!!) has meant I can’t work so I’ve been working out and doing a big spring clean of our place. I can’t tell you the last time I had this much time off work without being unemployed. I’m fairly certain I have adult ADD coz I’m not very good at sitting still for long periods of time. Reading is different but yknow?
I want to talk about some of the changes I’ve been making. I was talking to Mickey yesterday (who wears many hats and is a qualified PT and was once a Zumba instructor lol) and I was talking about how I’ve been so good and I’m gutted the results haven’t shown. She was like ‘GURL I FEEL YOUUUU! You just want to see the weight come off of your hips!’ A-freaking-men, sister. So I stay patient and try and relax on the junk food and be as good as I can. What have I been saying to myself again? It’s a PROCESS and takes TIME!
On Sunday, I walked to the markets and came back then cooked for 3-4 hours. Do you know how easy it is to order take out when you literally just made it home without dying from exhaustion?! I do and I’ll take every chance I can to smash half a scoop of hot chips, a chicken curry, half a rice and some roti from Zhou’s Kitchen! I’m working on my meal prepping coz I am a) mindful of the waste I’ve been creating and b) like to eat something pretty vege heavy coz I know it makes me feel so much better. I made a Thai green curry (definitely did not omit the coconut cream), vege black bean burritos with home made salsa, meatballs and fresh tomato sauce, nacho Mince and beans and a vegetable quiche to get us through the week! I mean, there are some parts of it that definitely aren’t 100% clean however, it is all home cooked and fucking delicious (if I may say so myself!) I’d love to create a delicious meal plan for the blog so it’s in process, I promise.
Another big thing for me is that I’ve slowed the fuck down on my drinking! For the past 2-3 weeks I’ve been having 1-4 beers a week aside from last night (but I broke it up with coffee and a coke!) Which is super amazing for me. It’s strange coz despite being adamant that I’m having my fucking beers still I’ve slowly gone off of going out and getting shit faced. Time is of the essence and I have planned some cute outfits for our holiday with stuff I can’t (yet) fit.
I admit – I’ve been a bad. I’ve been doing so poorly at losing weight that I’ve been embarrassed to come back and share the same results. After having a tough time (depression is in check it’s just other little things) I made time to talk to Michelle. Mickey would’ve been featured more in my earlier posts but since JP came along and is both getting busy our healing sleep overs were put on hold. My girl is in China teaching English right now and we talked for at least 2.5 hours on Tuesday. I laughed so hard my jaw hurt and then afterwards Shen promised to email a motivating email. If anyone knows how to reach me it’s her. She is the bringer of truths. We were supposed incredibly connected when we both went through heartbreak and when Mickey lost her dad. We didn’t let all of the terrible things happening stall our progress in life. We worked out religiously, ate good and worked on our mental state. We essentially fought ferociously for ourselves to be in a good space. We’ve both been through some very rough times and stints with chronic depression being one of them so making sure we were in a good space doing all we could was worth it. If one thing depression has taught me is that you can’t ignore yourself or your feelings and relying on all the things that make you better is the fight to keep better. Taking medication for it is just one part of the process. I’ll write about it more later in the week.
I’ve been working on not drinking so much and Wednesdays and Fridays are really hard for me. I’m not anti drinking but I’m anti drinking so much that it ruins your weekend and your weight. I made a date with Aimee to eat nachos and watch tv which was so nice. We live together but we don’t spend time together like we did when we hung out pre living together. Just like my FaceTime with Mickey, it felt so healing. It’s a reminder to myself that being selective with your friends is never a bad thing. Side bar – I saw a girl I was once friends with on the street and terminating that friendship was a reminder that sometimes you have to do the tough thing and ditch. As rough as it may sound sometimes you have to for your own well being. In the morning, we cleaned, got our laundry out and then took Loki to the dog beach.
Little things: watching the baby ducks at the gardens; getting Korean skin care from JPs sister; The Mindy Project; 5 or so weeks till we go on holiday; getting my fringe trimmed; sleeping in (I’m usually up at 6am so 9 was a nice change); chicken curry from Zhou’s Kitchen; My Favourite Murder; This American Life; seeing our little garden grow!; watching the fireworks hand in hand with JP at the New World car park post buying snacks #romance; the bits of the Steve Aoki documentary I was able to sit down for; Loki not being terrified at the fireworks (so brave); this moment where I am sitting in my lounge with the sporadic rain post coffee; and JPs mum who is the sweetest angel.
Thank fuck it’s a long weekend! I’ve been hanging out for this for far too long. Only 9 more weeks till our holiday which I can stick out. It’s kinda funny how we talk about how fast the year goes when a couple of days ago Aimee and I were just talking about how long we had been at our new place and it felt like 6 months but I think it’s been 3-4 months?
JP stayed all weekend and it felt good to get up and do shit. In my older years I’ve taken to waking up super early. I love having a cigarette, coffee and listen to a podcast before the day really starts. I cleaned our place on Saturday, we ran some errands, went to the park and had some drinks then ate bolognase a la JP. We started watching Fargo (oh yaah) but I could barely keep my eyes open. Yesterday I went to the gym, we packed a picnic and got drunk with our friends at the Botanical Gardens then came home and kicked it. Today is a chill day. I definitely identify as an extrovert but I love not having to socialise sometimes. I also managed to clean my room! Feels so good to have my room rearranged.
Little things: visits from Percy the kaka; Rimmel lasting finish foundation; 9 weeks till our holiday; quick walks to work; having a clean house; warmer weather; My Favourite Murder (all I listen to I swear); the mother ducks and their babies at the botanical gardens; and getting to the gym
I’ve been getting better. I ate pretty well last week. I still slip up and I still don’t hate myself for it. I was reminded this morning that things like catching up with friends and having takeaways sometimes is a okay. Eating and friendships are important. Maybe not eating take out but you get the jist. I have, however, realised the repercussions of beer. I really love beer. However, in terms of getting back in shape it’s probably time I just relax on the beers. It is 10 weeks until we go on holiday and I really, really want to be able to go shopping and fit some of my dresses. Last summer I was a bit lighter and I was miserable because all my dresses and shorts fit so uncomfortably and the new ones I bought were awful. I tried on an old dress on the other day and my best friend (bless her soul) tried to tell me it didn’t look too bad. Lets be honest here – white is v e r y unforgiving and two of my favourite dresses are WHITE (see photo above)
I’m very proud of myself. I weighed myself last week and it wasn’t exactly what I wanted but it was not a gain (I think it was just under a kilo) The gym progress hasn’t been going so well. A friend of mine lost A LOT of weight over the past year and is looking toned and amazing. When I told her about my weight loss woes she gave me her boyfriends number (who is a personal trainer) who will hopefully help me develop a good routine and give me some different exercises to help me get back into business. JP also discovered a short cut to walk to work which is so much nicer than my usual walk. It’s half the time which is fine but I would much rather walk a shorter distance than miss out on an opportunity to get some exercise. As I have said before, it is so much easier to take the easier option.
I’ve been working on meal prep a lot more. Cooking for a couple of hours on a Sunday when I am relaxed etc is ten times easier than cooking every night and worrying about what time I’m going to get to bed and whether or not I am going to get enough sleep. Also – making an effort to buy less processed food. This is a hard one. It can look fine on your calories but honestly – there are better things I can eat AMIRITE?
How I feel about about it everything
Writing about this has really changed my perspective and made me so much more mindful. It’s been interesting to read other peoples weight loss journeys and to see how far other bloggers have come which is really inspirational. Everyone can do it, it’s all a matter of actually doing it, yknow? I feel guilty if I haven’t put any effort in so I am really, really trying here. I love that there is a community of people in the exact same boat as me.
I am proposing a challenge for myself. I said it ages ago when it was 14 odd weeks out from my holiday but this week I want to start losing a kilo a week. Now, I am aware that weight fluctuates etc and that is all well and good so I’ll do weekly measurements – this time I am SERIOUS. I will not do another chubby summer. I swear!
After taking two weeks off I decided to walk home today. I had a terrible sleep the night before and pushing myself to the limit wasn’t in my best interest. During this walk I got to thinking about working out and eating healthy. Some of these are semi double ups but bare with me. Positive affirmations and truths make the harder, shittier stuff much easier for the brain to digest.
1. If you want to get into shape you need to work for it otherwise you’ll be in the same space you started and will end up feeling crappy for not changing anything.
2. Your gym membership payment is just a donation if you don’t go.
3. The thought of doing exercise and eating healthy is harder than the act itself. Challenge your brain.
4. Eating healthier and working out only does good things for your body and brain
5. Working out is hard work but so worth it
6. Keeping in shape is in your best interest
7. Making an effort to eat better and look after yourself is an act of radical self love
8. Thinking about working out and working out are two completely different things
9. Creating healthy habits now are in your best interest as well as your future self and family
10. Eating healthy doesn’t have to be awful
We’ve jumped between gray skies and sunshine this week. It’s been so bloody nice especially because it’s annoying when it’s still light out and it’s raining. Wednesday was beautiful so we went to the pub and had some beers followed by the best steak meal ever. We went out for dinner and drinks on Friday and it was the first time we didnt get ~loose~ in a long time. Saturday was so productive and we drove around heaps, went to dressmart, walked Brax then got the rest for the rum bottling (btw – amazing) We all slept in till 10 this morning (unheard of coz I usually wake naturally around 7) Then milled around.
Little things: only a few more weeks till our holiday; not hating my job or work mates; the fraudulent document course we’re doing this week; cooking for the week; clean sheets (just made my bed 🙌🏼); living with Loki and Aimee; American Horror Story: Coven (half watched while cooking); My Favourite Murder, This American Life etc); Kath and Kim; and avocado on toast.