1. Buy me fried chicken. I’m not even lying.
2. Be open to doing new things. I can understand if you’re apprehensive about doing weird new things but I like to live
3. Not mind that I will call you. I’ll always ask if it’s okay first coz spontaneous phone calls spook me sometimes but I really like to talk on the phone.
4. Be up to hanging out lots. I am an extrovert and spending way too much time alone in my down time bums me out. Just, come round. I’ll make you a coffee then we’ll make plans.
5. Talk about your feelings. It bugs me when people (aside from maybe 2) keep their feelings locked up and you can’t have fun with them because they’re so miserable and won’t let me help them.
6. Enjoy my cooking.
7. Don’t be a phony. I do not want to hang out with who you think I want to hang out with.
8. Don’t winge about how terrible your life is then shoot down every suggestion I make. It will only get worse not better!
9. Be open to slumber parties where we eat pizza and watch movies late. That’s all I really feel down for these days.
10. Keep an open mind to all sorts of conversation topics. I am the most comfortable around the friends that I can freely discuss the details of my intimate life, etc and vice versa.
I started writing this part a little while ago and it was all little stuff like how guys I liked could just drop off of the face of this earth without even saying goodbye and while I don’t mean to dismiss the heart ache of those who have written that I knew there was something bigger that I couldn’t get past.
Then I started thinking about depression. I started thinking about my 7-8 year old self and how depressed I was at such a young age. An age where you’re meant to be carefree and happy. I started thinking about the cruelty of young kids and how teachers and principals so easily brushed it off despite having the pressure of my parents on their back. Sure, I developed a thick skin over time but I look back to these times and I think about how sad I was and how awful everything had become. It still brings tears to my eyes thinking about it because adults are meant to be there to help, support and protect you. There isn’t anything a weird 7 year old can do to stop bullying and depression. I could write about this forever and still not be over it. I could pin it on life being not fair but I have crafted my life from this and becoming a better person. I just can’t seem to get over how it was so easily brushed off.
1. I love hip hop. I hated it all through high school coz whenever someone would put music on in the common room or in class it was auto tuned bullshit. Later on I found Atmosphere and fell in love. Later on I bought ‘Graduation’ and it’s been my favourite genre ever since. This girl in my class once told me that Atmosphere ‘Isn’t real hip hop’. BYE.
2. I love to party. I love getting dressed up with my friends and taking too many pictures.
3. I have depression and I’ve dealt with it all my life. But we’ll talk about that more later on.
4. How badly I want to be a writer. I guess I could say I’m a writer but….yeah nah. I’ve kept a journal since I was 11 and writing about things (even if it isn’t my feelings) makes me feel very happy.
5. I have never had a proper boyfriend (there have been dudes I’ve been exclusive with which is essentially a relationship but they didn’t go too far) I KNOW I CAN’T BELIEVE I’VE BEEN SINGLE FOR SO LONG TOO. But in all honestly I’ve only just really sorted out my own shit and I am glad I wasn’t in a relationship.
6. I was a vegetarian in college. I became an omnivore officially after my dad made me bolognaise one day.
7. The distance I walk (it takes 13km or so to clear my head……I have a lot of thoughts)
8. I nearly became a hair dresser. I had a huge interest in the beauty industry from a young age and at 16 was offered an apprenticeship. My boss was really cruel and so I gave it up. I wanted to end up being a beauty writer and often times would buy magazines just to read that one section.
8. I eat A LOT for a fairly small human.
9. I had braces for 8 years and I’ve only had them off for 3-4 months. I smile a lot more in photos and I love it.
10. If I could marry any one in the entire world it would be Paul Rudd. Or Drake. Please don’t make me choose.
We currently have a wine tasting score board that gets updated on Fridays
My best friend of 16 years who keeps it real and sends me YouTube videos of really cute animals. She knows me better than anyone and doesn’t beat around the bush. Even if she is I can read her expressions well enough by now. It doesn’t matter what we do it’s always fun. Last Friday I said to her ‘When we hang out I feel like how a twin must feel after being reunited with the other’ She is my rock and I couldn’t imagine my life without her! It sounds cheesey but damn it we take too much for granted in this life.
One of my dads hilarious snapchats
It’s taken me a long time to get along really well with both of my parents. I think part of it is is that I’m an adult now and while they don’t agree with everything I do they still accept me as I am.
As I mentioned below it has taken me a long time to get myself to a stage where I have a good relationship with myself. Once upon a time things weren’t so rosy with my parents. I’ve always been a lot closer to my dad and mum always mentions how similar we are. When I was younger I used to hang out with dad all the time. On the other hand my mum and I are very different. I like to go out and adventure but she’s more content with staying in. We used to fight all the time and it was only after my parents split that we started getting along and I miss her heaps!
I look back on all the times where I told my parents I hated them and wished I didn’t have them and cringe! I hate it when I see kids acting all bratty and rude. Our parents put a roof over our head, clothe us, feed us and most of all love us unconditionally. Being responsible for another persons life and well being is a huge job and something we definitely take for granted.
There is always something terrifying going on in my brain because of my anxiety and ability to overthink everything. But here are my top:
– going swimming and getting attacked by a shark
– losing my loves ones
– my cats dying without me saying goodbye
– drifting apart from my best friend
– the thought of working a desk job for the rest of my life
– losing my apartment and all the things that come with the joy of a disposable income
– being late for work
– having my heart broken so bad that I’ll never want another relationship
– never owning my own home
– dying in my sleep
– spontaneous death of loved ones