Weekly Love

IMG_6978.JPGI’m back! From yknow, life and stuff. I’m in the best place I’ve been in years. It’s been hard yakka but I’m happily enjoying the fruits of my labour. If I could look back and show my 19 year old self this life, I’m sure she would’ve been amazed. The reason I say my 19 year old self is because that is when I was having the worst of times. Who would’ve thought!

Anyway, I’ve missed writing. Sometimes I feel nothing writing these posts but I remember why I do it – I love looking back and seeing what I’ve been up to. Two weeks ago I turned 27 (I think it was 2 weeks ago?) I’m feeling proud of myself. I’ve nearly paid off all of my debt (I’d say roughly $6000) in the past 2-3 years. I’ve got $2000 to go and it feels SO GOOD. It was a hard lesson to learn but I’m really glad I went through it. It’s taught me the value of money, how important it is to have money saved and savings goals. It taught me that living with debt means sacrifices and having to miss out a lot because of it. It also taught me how to survive on virtually nothing, but hey let’s hope those days are over. How amazing is that, though? I’ve set myself a savings goal to reach within a year so I will have a nice ‘fuck off fund’ to help, should I need it!

It doesn’t stop there! JP and I have been together for 3 years as of January -April (hazy on the time) He’s my driving force when I lose stamina and loves me regardless. It’s really great being in love with someone you like and can be yourself around. He’s chilled me out and made me realise that I’m bigger than I think I am (not talking about weight here)

My job is still going really well. I’ve never really ‘thrived’ in admin roles but my team is awesome and I love being there.

I’m still working on the weight loss part. It’s almost comical that I started tracking weight loss but it never really came to anything. I’ve been doing Junk Free June and it’s really made me think about my eating habits. Stopping and asking yourself ‘is this junk food?’ is a really big eye opener. I’m working on eating more fruit and vegetables. This week is when I get back to the gym!

Little things: grilled chicken noodle salad from Nam D; having some sun on my skin today; catching up with old friends; Sex and the City (obsessed!!!); I bought JP and I tickets to My Favourite Murder in September; AND we have booked an epic week away in Kaiteriteri for New Years; watching my debt dwindle; nice Sunday drives; fresh pasta; Bon Apetetit’s Facebook page; Tony Moly lip sticks; Too Faced Natural Love palette; dry cleaned coats; waking up early; dog beach; staying in on rainy days; living with my best friend and laughing constantly; Loki who is annoying AND loveable; talking to my sister sporadically; and JP (of course!)


Adventures in Weightloss


I’ve been getting better. I ate pretty well last week. I still slip up and I still don’t hate myself for it. I was reminded this morning that things like catching up with friends and having takeaways sometimes is a okay. Eating and friendships are important. Maybe not eating take out but you get the jist. I have, however, realised the repercussions of beer. I really love beer. However, in terms of getting back in shape it’s probably time I just relax on the beers. It is 10 weeks until we go on holiday and I really, really want to be able to go shopping and fit some of my dresses. Last summer I was a bit lighter and I was miserable because all my dresses and shorts fit so uncomfortably and the new ones I bought were awful. I tried on an old dress on the other day and my best friend (bless her soul) tried to tell me it didn’t look too bad. Lets be honest here – white is v e r y unforgiving and two of my favourite dresses are WHITE (see photo above)

I’m very proud of myself. I weighed myself last week and it wasn’t exactly what I wanted but it was not a gain (I think it was just under a kilo) The gym progress hasn’t been going so well. A friend of mine lost A LOT of weight over the past year and is looking toned and amazing. When I told her about my weight loss woes she gave me her boyfriends number (who is a personal trainer) who will hopefully help me develop a good routine and give me some different exercises to help me get back into business. JP also discovered a short cut to walk to work which is so much nicer than my usual walk. It’s half the time which is fine but I would much rather walk a shorter distance than miss out on an opportunity to get some exercise. As I have said before, it is so much easier to take the easier option.

I’ve been working on meal prep a lot more. Cooking for a couple of hours on a Sunday when I am relaxed etc is ten times easier than cooking every night and worrying about what time I’m going to get to bed and whether or not I am going to get enough sleep. Also – making an effort to buy less processed food. This is a hard one. It can look fine on your calories but honestly – there are better things I can eat AMIRITE?

How I feel about about it everything
Writing about this has really changed my perspective and made me so much more mindful. It’s been interesting to read other peoples weight loss journeys and to see how far other bloggers have come which is really inspirational. Everyone can do it, it’s all a matter of actually doing it, yknow? I feel guilty if I haven’t put any effort in so I am really, really trying here. I love that there is a community of people in the exact same boat as me.

I am proposing a challenge for myself. I said it ages ago when it was 14 odd weeks out from my holiday but this week I want to start losing a kilo a week. Now, I am aware that weight fluctuates etc and that is all well and good so I’ll do weekly measurements – this time I am SERIOUS. I will not do another chubby summer. I swear!

Adventures in Weightloss


10-15 kilos ago when I had discipline

Aie aie aie! It hasn’t been a good time lately. Did you know that there is never a good time to lose weight? Yup. It has taken me this long to realise this. I guess patterns need a little time to reach the brain….well my brain at least! I’ve got back on the bandwagon and aside from exercising everything is going semi okay.

Whats important here is that I am finally getting through to myself. If you stop you will never go anywhere and you’ll just end up feeling gutted that you fucked out and didn’t keep on. That’s been me for the past 3-4 years. I feel like writing about this is like a prequel to the actual event. I call it ‘The Hobbit: From Bilbo Baggins to Gandalf in 10 easy steps, 4 epiphanies and 7 failures’ ha.

I forget that Weightloss is as much of a physical transformation as a mental one. Do you love you right body? Yes. Are you doing this to improve your health? Yes. Are you doing this to improve your body so that in the future you’re a healthy and healthy human? Yes. There’s no point in doing something that you’re not mentally ready for giving up an old routine. I used to eat a lot when I worked out lots because I could (calories in, calories out etc)


Adventures in Weightloss pt 4

imageForgive me Weightloss God, for I have sinned. It’s been two weeks since my last confession (see above) I know but I need to get this off of my chest. I know in my last post I said I had been doing terribly  but I got back on the bandwagon and was doing okay.

My uncle passed away pretty suddenly two Friday’s ago from a heart attack then I literally went back to my old ways. You best believe I had a cheese and ham croissant, pigged out on mini savouries at the wake and followed it with beer and chips from KFC. Today I had a really good think about it on the way home though. I made myself a promise that I’ll always allow myself a beer or 5 so that’s been honoured. Here is what I’m doing right and what I need to change:

1. I need to eat breakfast. I get up early to walk to work and I usually get up and just go. My clothes are ready and I get dressed while I’m on the loo. I’m not usually a breakfast person but I am so bloody hungry by the time I start work. I also need to eat more. I skip breakfast, have lunch and maybe something for afternoon tea then dinner.

2. I have been walking to work everyday! Do I like waking up at 6am? Hell naw. But I’m in much better spirits when I get there. Plus the weather has got better recently so I can deal with it being cold. I’m  looking forward to getting back into the gym again in a few weeks!

3. I’m completely unprepared when it comes to food. This week JP took me out for dinner twice (I’m so fucking spoiled) but instead of eating well and having healthy snacks on hand and eating well during the day I’m just eating crap all the damn time. I’m all about treats (read: beer) but it’s this kind of silly behaviour that got me into this rut. Love makes you fat. You were warned. In saying that though, JP has been seeing his PT for about 2 months now and the results are coming through and his progress is super motivating for me. I just wish my arms and legs toned up as fast as his haha!

4. I forgive myself for my mistakes. I’m not going to lie but changing your habits and going from a 70:30 eating plan to a 90:10 is struggle street but I’ve been good before so I know I can do it again. It’s a lot of tweaking here and there and it’s listening to your body. The worst thing is giving up altogether. I will not admit my defeat!

5. I’m not eating enough during the day. Even when I log my calories and they’re over I know that if I made some simple food swaps it really would help my progress. Having My Fitness Pal really helps me see the good and the bad. I would like to switch it up and do 5-6 mini meals rather than two.

6. I do the cooking at our place which I love. I started weighing things properly when I cooked a couple of nights ago so I could see where the good was coming from and the not so good. Investing in scales made such a difference. It can be time consuming if you’re making something with a lot of ingredients but it definitely makes it easier.

With that being said. I’m going to set myself some goals. I’m planning on having a perfect week in the last week of September or first week of October. That’s the plan anyway. I know going straight into it would just make me a bit nuts (I’m fully aware of making my changes gradual) so I’m going to start preparing my meals and logging them better. I’m also, starting next week, going to take measurements and photos every week or two. I’m not ashamed of my body coz shit she’s been through a fair bit but it’s out of sheer love for myself that I’m doing this. Oh, and a little bit for the badass clothes I have waiting for me from four years ago (yes I’ve kept some things and no I don’t think it’s a bad idea)

Until next week….!

Weekly Love

I’ve been thoroughly enjoying my last week of unemployment. It’s nice to spend some time away from things and review yourself a little. I identified my weaknesses not long ago to figure out what I should do next so fingers crossed my next endeavours will be successful!

This year I made a point of not starting my work outs and what not on the first week of the new year. I’ve found (for me at least) that it’s a lot easier to get settled into a new lifestyle after the second or third week into the year. I’ve been using my fitness pal again to track my eating habits since the past year I’ve been overly indulgent and want to reach my goal of been being healthier and happier.

Little things: fun dates; getting a good nights sleep; planning our next holiday; late night walks; changing my reactions to things that bum me out; eating healthier; getting to see Sparkles; learning to enjoy my alone time better; writing again; nachos w my BFF; avo and eggs on toast (Cajun seasoning makes it that much better); getting new walking shoes! and big cat documentaries!

2014 – year in review


The post I originally wrote is nowhere to be seen. Oopsie!I wanted to log the year anyway because reading back on things is a great way to take stock, see how much I grew and think ‘WHAT WAS I WEARING/THINKING/DOING?!’
2014 was definitely a toughie but I persisted and kept an ‘every thing will work out’ mentality once I’d finished losing my shit. I have found having that mindset especially good during bad bouts of depression.

2015 was welcomed in my drunken arms with a bunch of JPs mates and their ladies and I was so damn greatful to not have to be in the city during the horrible weather.

The good – meeting JP, falling in love & putting my walls down (the man has the patience of a saint!); having my bestie back and two blocks away; having Piri back (after years of promises); having Anna back; working in sales; reading heaps; learning what I do and don’t want to do in life; never giving up; Gilmore Girls marathons; becoming more financially dependent; Feb – April was utter bliss; going back to therapy; asking for what I want; asking for help when I needed it; living with the same people for the 3rd year in a row and cooking lots of delicious food.

The bad: a fair amount of job promiscuity; being broke 95% of the time; doubling my medication (fuck off); ending up with some debt; doing jobs I didn’t enjoy; gaining 10-12kgs and not being able to fit my fave clothes

Hopes for 2015 – get my body back which is conducive to my other plan of going back to my original medication dose, paying off my debt before my 25th birthday in May, and saving for an epic holiday!

Adventures in self discovery / How my goals are going



Is it bad that over three months ago I set some goals and haven’t started? Yes. Is it okay that I realised what the missing link in the chain is? Yes. Am I kinda embarrassed that it a) took me so long to realise it and b) what it actually is? Yes. Drum roll please….. alcohol! Yep, going out and getting on the booze in the weekends as well as after work drinks was killing all my goals.Have you ever tried reading a book drunk? How about quitting smoking? Getting a killer body? Saving money? Feeling emotionally balanced? My excess drinking was ruining all of that.

My drinking got really bad last November. I had a whole load of stress (predominantly this dude I was dating that I was crazy about that was leaving and the WHAT WILL HAPPEN WHEN YOU GO THIS IS SO GREAT was literally killing me) and I had just started a new job in a totally different environment to my work before. I am usually pretty adaptable but there was something different this time. Anyway, I would drink when my (now former) lover was on night shift during the week then I’d drink all through the weekend. New Zealanders have a pretty bad binge drinking problem. I can’t think of one person who can go out for one drink and not end up getting shit faced. One wine usually means about four but can generally lead to six…. I also come from a family of big drinkers so when I go to my dads we will polish off a dozen beers and crack open a bottle of wine. When you add stress into the occasion then the whole thing turns into a gigantic shit storm. My reality check was when I got told on at work for coming in hungover (there were a few other little things but this lead to the other things in the past and now) followed by a final warning. I was pretty ashamed off myself to be honest so I said ‘Nope’ to week day drinking. It was cool. I still had my weekends. Then when I had a weekend off drinking (last weekend) every one was like ‘You’re fucking joking?!’ nope. I went down stairs for a cigarette and the guys who work at the business downstairs were like ‘Whaaaaat? You’re not drinking? Usually you’re down here drunk at this hour!’  This is when I thought to myself ‘Ahhhh fuck Anna what are you doing?’ So the past week has been the gym, low amounts of alcohol, reading, making plans for Rarotonga and L.A in November and chilling the eff out.

It annoys me because I am so damned capable of achieving these goals. I’m four books in to the reading, four days into not smoking, a little while off coming off medication, in the midst of saving for a big ass holiday & four days into some insane fitness training. Everything is achievable and I refuse to let another year pass without achieving anything I want to achieve!