Me in all my chubby glory
Finally back from holiday, fatter and more fabulous than ever. Just kidding, I got really sick on Boxing Day and lived on a fairly solid diet of bread and meat. And beer. Tis the season, amirite? I have been working on my self control like you would not believe. Aside from beers, pizza and curly fries last night I have been eating healthy for a full 3 days. I had scheduled a gym sesh with one of my old work mates who literally went from my size to having the best figure last year but, I’m feeling a bit poorly. This will be the last time I eat at maki mono!
My clothes were already feeling quite tight but over a period of nine days I managed to really push the boundaries. When I got home on Monday, Aimee said to me ‘Oh my GOD Anna your dress has split at the bum!’ I was MORTIFIED. Then I back tracked to what I had consumed and it all made perfect sense. Getting back into a routine has not been easy. We didn’t do our grocery shop until the Friday so for three days dinner consisted of KFC, Indian curry and Chinese curry. Then, on Friday some exercise tights arrived and JP sheepishly said ‘Uh, I think you need to go up a size…’ Yikes.
Self control has definitely not come easy. It requires you to really stop. For example, my co-worker who likes eating as much as I do, bought in a pecan pie for us all. I put aside a piece because I had already eaten a pastry for breakfast but the next day at lunch I had to give the man I call chocolate bear (Scrubs, anyone?) the piece of pecan pie I was looking forward to! Is it somewhat ironic that chocolate bear’s wife is a psychiatrist who looks after people battling eating disorders? Anyway, from that day on to today I have been eating good. Peanut butter toast, salad, fruit and lots of veges for dinner with lean meat. JP told me I looked skinny yesterday but unfortunately it takes time.
What has worked for me: having a plan! I know it’s not realistic to make myself big fancy breakfasts on a week day. I use a good quality peanut butter and grainy toast which gets me till about 11. I tried porridge the other day and despite being a decent sized portion, it did nothing for me. I also stopped gorging. I made vege burritos the other night and they were so, so good. I could’ve eaten another one but I relaxed and didn’t.
What I’ll do next week: start getting back into exercising again. I’ve walked to work all week aside from today. I would love to get up early and go but there’s no buses and I don’t want to get murdered.
You may or may not have noticed my lack of posting. 2017 came to a close and so did my consistently good eating. Did yours? It’s okay. I read that yo-yo dieting is bad but a part of not giving up is getting back on the horse until it sticks.
Second day of my holidays I get a sinus infection! It sort of made me stop and think about the stress answer the bad eating I had done but guess what – I kept going. Bye! It’s hard when you’re in a group and you’re eating out all the time and you tell yourself you’re going to get the salad but it’s covered in pesto dressing so you figure that it’s probably best to just idk, get the pizza coz it’s probably the same in terms of calories. Initially I had planned to wake up every morning and fit in a work out before we left for the day and cook everything on the BBQ. I’m still sick as all hell right now but all I can think about is Dr Libby’s new book ‘Women’s Wellness Wisdom’. I was so excited about it that after buying it I legit nearly got into someone else’s car. Oops! I bought it purely because I needed a reset. When you have eaten like a slob or eaten too much of the wrong thing and ditched all your old and good ways of caring for yourself or all of the above it’s good to dial that clock waaaay back and go back to basics.
Since I got back, it’s been fruit, veges and lean meat. I’m ready to battle this beast, man.
Watch this space! It’s my resolution to post 3 times a week.
Let me start off by saying that I’ve gone backwards. Oops! I knew that I had and for the past nearly two weeks my gym work outs have been regular and I am in love with the gym again. As you may or may not have seen on the news, we’ve had a pretty insane time here in Wellington. The massive quake that hit us on Monday morning (7.5 on the Richter scale and went for a minute!!) has meant I can’t work so I’ve been working out and doing a big spring clean of our place. I can’t tell you the last time I had this much time off work without being unemployed. I’m fairly certain I have adult ADD coz I’m not very good at sitting still for long periods of time. Reading is different but yknow?
I want to talk about some of the changes I’ve been making. I was talking to Mickey yesterday (who wears many hats and is a qualified PT and was once a Zumba instructor lol) and I was talking about how I’ve been so good and I’m gutted the results haven’t shown. She was like ‘GURL I FEEL YOUUUU! You just want to see the weight come off of your hips!’ A-freaking-men, sister. So I stay patient and try and relax on the junk food and be as good as I can. What have I been saying to myself again? It’s a PROCESS and takes TIME!
On Sunday, I walked to the markets and came back then cooked for 3-4 hours. Do you know how easy it is to order take out when you literally just made it home without dying from exhaustion?! I do and I’ll take every chance I can to smash half a scoop of hot chips, a chicken curry, half a rice and some roti from Zhou’s Kitchen! I’m working on my meal prepping coz I am a) mindful of the waste I’ve been creating and b) like to eat something pretty vege heavy coz I know it makes me feel so much better. I made a Thai green curry (definitely did not omit the coconut cream), vege black bean burritos with home made salsa, meatballs and fresh tomato sauce, nacho Mince and beans and a vegetable quiche to get us through the week! I mean, there are some parts of it that definitely aren’t 100% clean however, it is all home cooked and fucking delicious (if I may say so myself!) I’d love to create a delicious meal plan for the blog so it’s in process, I promise.
Another big thing for me is that I’ve slowed the fuck down on my drinking! For the past 2-3 weeks I’ve been having 1-4 beers a week aside from last night (but I broke it up with coffee and a coke!) Which is super amazing for me. It’s strange coz despite being adamant that I’m having my fucking beers still I’ve slowly gone off of going out and getting shit faced. Time is of the essence and I have planned some cute outfits for our holiday with stuff I can’t (yet) fit.
I’ve been getting better. I ate pretty well last week. I still slip up and I still don’t hate myself for it. I was reminded this morning that things like catching up with friends and having takeaways sometimes is a okay. Eating and friendships are important. Maybe not eating take out but you get the jist. I have, however, realised the repercussions of beer. I really love beer. However, in terms of getting back in shape it’s probably time I just relax on the beers. It is 10 weeks until we go on holiday and I really, really want to be able to go shopping and fit some of my dresses. Last summer I was a bit lighter and I was miserable because all my dresses and shorts fit so uncomfortably and the new ones I bought were awful. I tried on an old dress on the other day and my best friend (bless her soul) tried to tell me it didn’t look too bad. Lets be honest here – white is v e r y unforgiving and two of my favourite dresses are WHITE (see photo above)
I’m very proud of myself. I weighed myself last week and it wasn’t exactly what I wanted but it was not a gain (I think it was just under a kilo) The gym progress hasn’t been going so well. A friend of mine lost A LOT of weight over the past year and is looking toned and amazing. When I told her about my weight loss woes she gave me her boyfriends number (who is a personal trainer) who will hopefully help me develop a good routine and give me some different exercises to help me get back into business. JP also discovered a short cut to walk to work which is so much nicer than my usual walk. It’s half the time which is fine but I would much rather walk a shorter distance than miss out on an opportunity to get some exercise. As I have said before, it is so much easier to take the easier option.
I’ve been working on meal prep a lot more. Cooking for a couple of hours on a Sunday when I am relaxed etc is ten times easier than cooking every night and worrying about what time I’m going to get to bed and whether or not I am going to get enough sleep. Also – making an effort to buy less processed food. This is a hard one. It can look fine on your calories but honestly – there are better things I can eat AMIRITE?
How I feel about about it everything
Writing about this has really changed my perspective and made me so much more mindful. It’s been interesting to read other peoples weight loss journeys and to see how far other bloggers have come which is really inspirational. Everyone can do it, it’s all a matter of actually doing it, yknow? I feel guilty if I haven’t put any effort in so I am really, really trying here. I love that there is a community of people in the exact same boat as me.
I am proposing a challenge for myself. I said it ages ago when it was 14 odd weeks out from my holiday but this week I want to start losing a kilo a week. Now, I am aware that weight fluctuates etc and that is all well and good so I’ll do weekly measurements – this time I am SERIOUS. I will not do another chubby summer. I swear!
After taking two weeks off I decided to walk home today. I had a terrible sleep the night before and pushing myself to the limit wasn’t in my best interest. During this walk I got to thinking about working out and eating healthy. Some of these are semi double ups but bare with me. Positive affirmations and truths make the harder, shittier stuff much easier for the brain to digest.
1. If you want to get into shape you need to work for it otherwise you’ll be in the same space you started and will end up feeling crappy for not changing anything.
2. Your gym membership payment is just a donation if you don’t go.
3. The thought of doing exercise and eating healthy is harder than the act itself. Challenge your brain.
4. Eating healthier and working out only does good things for your body and brain
5. Working out is hard work but so worth it
6. Keeping in shape is in your best interest
7. Making an effort to eat better and look after yourself is an act of radical self love
8. Thinking about working out and working out are two completely different things
9. Creating healthy habits now are in your best interest as well as your future self and family
10. Eating healthy doesn’t have to be awful
As you know I’ve been so lazy recently. It’s not that I don’t want to I just haven’t been, yknow, doing. It’s daylight savings this week so yesterday evening I took Loki for a walk around the Botanical Gardens and felt so much better for it! When the weather is so mild and it’s light out it feels like a waste to be inside watching tv. I’ve started doing things differently this past week though. Also, that photo is not this weeks weight. I just couldn’t find one haha. So here is my list:
Stopped with the high calorie snacks – I was buying bags of nuts and eating 3/4 a packet in a day. Do I have self control? Most definitely not. I bought them for the week but after logging them in My Fitness Pal decided that I’m either going to have to weigh them or not have them. Same for bliss balls. The Tom and Luke’s peanut butter and cacao ones are bloody delicious but rack up the calories. I’ve swapped them for popcorn (I share it with my work mates), bananas, celery and a couple of slices of cheese on a grainy cracker.
Lunch is better – I am always horrified at how high Uncle Ben’s microwave rice is in calories (specifically the pilau one 10/10) but if I have it with 100gm chicken then I’m usually good for the rest of the day. I’m not bored of it yet but definitely going to look into different lunch options.
Weighing yourself after half-assing your diet and exercise is such a bitch but I checked the scales briefly and there hasn’t been too much of a change (thank god). I guess you put in what you get out so I feel a lot less bummed out if I know that change isn’t likely. Shit happens, time to move on.
I’m signing up to the gym again. Yep, as soon as my pay comes through on Thursday I’m doing it. Bring back the soul cleansing 2hr gym sessions I loved so much.
So there we have it. I’m working on it and doing my best to get there.
10-15 kilos ago when I had discipline
Aie aie aie! It hasn’t been a good time lately. Did you know that there is never a good time to lose weight? Yup. It has taken me this long to realise this. I guess patterns need a little time to reach the brain….well my brain at least! I’ve got back on the bandwagon and aside from exercising everything is going semi okay.
Whats important here is that I am finally getting through to myself. If you stop you will never go anywhere and you’ll just end up feeling gutted that you fucked out and didn’t keep on. That’s been me for the past 3-4 years. I feel like writing about this is like a prequel to the actual event. I call it ‘The Hobbit: From Bilbo Baggins to Gandalf in 10 easy steps, 4 epiphanies and 7 failures’ ha.
I forget that Weightloss is as much of a physical transformation as a mental one. Do you love you right body? Yes. Are you doing this to improve your health? Yes. Are you doing this to improve your body so that in the future you’re a healthy and healthy human? Yes. There’s no point in doing something that you’re not mentally ready for giving up an old routine. I used to eat a lot when I worked out lots because I could (calories in, calories out etc)