Oops – pt 3 of me trying to lose weight for the last time

Well, hello. I wondered if I would write this post and despite all of my internal fear festering I decided to bite the bullet because even if I would love to write about successes, I unfortunately have nothing weight loss related to report on. I’m not mad, and I’m not being too hard on myself because of the bigger picture of what I have learnt in the last couple of weeks is what is more important.

The weekend before I started my new job I signed back up to Les Mills. I wish I had done it sooner because it is worth the money. When they say ‘find an exercise you like and stick to it’ make sure you really get specific with your choice because if you’re not really feeling it, you won’t do it. Since I finish at 4:30, I get changed at work then wander five minutes up the road and get on with it. I took it easy the first couple of sessions because being able to move the next day is very important to me. Lifting weights is something that I feel is very mentally freeing. It has always felt like therapy to me because it helps me with any self doubt (you are not enough, you are weak ETC!) by delivering a reverse message like ‘yes you made it to the gym!’ And ‘you’re doing something really good’ and most importantly ‘you’re making progress on your annual goal!’

After my first week at my new job I was so damn tired I was ready to go home. JP said he wanted to go home early that night so I decided I’d just go along with him and save myself cab fare. As soon as I got into the pub, I got myself a beer and decided to end this whole 12 weeks no booze business. What a mistake! I had made it 7 weeks and didn’t really miss it. I woke up the next morning incredibly worse for wear, ordered McDonalds, ate both of our McDonalds then proceeded to feel like death for a very long time after. The silver lining of it all was that I realised how much I cherish my weekends, and sobriety.

On my birthday we went out for pasta with our friends but first of all we had a couple of beers. I wanted a celebratory drink and I wasn’t going to feel bad about it. In case you can’t tell, I’m doing my best to diminish my inner sad sack down buzz voice. It was nice to have just two beers. I did however wake up with a bit of a hangover the next day so if I’m only going to do a couple of drinks, it probably shouldn’t be strong beer. The gym was a no go due to the freezing cold weather that week, but I’m going to work on that.

This leads me to today. Still full of hope and still realising that I need to cut the internalising of the should I shouldn’t I bullshit of my health. I’m in bed sick with yet another sinus infection and more than anything I just want to go to the gym and eat good. Stay tuned for next week and leave me your motivating content below!

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Whoops.

  
This is me in…..2003-2005. I found it on photobucket earlier on haha. How fitting….

Each week I go to write about gratitude but I don’t really feel like posting. I find it hard to have content that I’m happy with because how I write is how I’ve been influenced during the day. If my day is shit you’ll hear all about it. If my day is good then you will see love hearts appear all over the page. It’s hard to have a blogging ‘voice’ sometimes and it’s only after 5 days of no work that I feel like writing. I write my best when I’ve had a clear head for a few days because everything just rolls off of my brain like so and I don’t feel sel concious. 

Anyway – I realised I didn’t finish Junk Free June. I can’t remember how far along I got but I remember it wasn’t far at all. Yo-yo dieting is in my genes and Dominos is a five minute walk from my apartment so….. Just a little note to the disclaimer – I didn’t ask a soul for money for it and I am 100% behind people eating better which is something I’m working on.